In her book The Anxious Achiever, Morra Aarons-Mele says what most leadership books dance around:
“Anxiety isn’t a weakness to overcome—it’s a signal to understand.”
It’s a bold statement in a world where executives are still rewarded for stoicism, not self-awareness. But let’s be real—this hits home.
According to 2024 data:
- 56% of leaders reported burnout this year (Inc.com).
- 65% of employees say they feel burned out—and 72% admit it’s affecting their job performance (isolvedHCM).
- And 39% of white-collar workers cite exhaustion as their #1 challenge (HR Brew).
It’s everywhere.
But instead of acknowledging it, most leaders double down on pretending they’re fine.
That’s the problem.
Not the anxiety. Not the burnout.
The mask.
Let’s Call It What It Is: Most Leaders Are Faking It
We promote performance. We celebrate confidence.
But behind the scenes?
- Leaders feel imposter syndrome and cover it with bravado.
- They second-guess themselves but bark orders to stay in control.
- They’re mentally checked out but still post about 5 a.m. workouts and “peak productivity.”
We’ve created a leadership culture where “authenticity” is something you write in a caption—not something you live.
You can’t lead people if you’re too busy performing for them.
Anxiety Isn’t the Enemy. Silence Is.
📘 If you haven’t read it, pick up The Anxious Achiever.
It’s a guide for leaders who feel the pressure and actually care—not about appearances, but about outcomes.
Aarons-Mele explains that anxiety can actually fuel good leadership:
- It makes us thoughtful.
- It sharpens focus.
- It makes us empathetic—when we don’t let it own us.
But when we bury it?
That’s when it leaks out sideways:
- Micromanagement
- Avoidance
- Burnout masked as overachievement
- Panic hidden behind overconfidence
It’s not anxiety that takes leaders down.
It’s pretending they don’t have it.
Before You Hand Them the Reins—Stop.
Let’s flip the lens. This isn’t just about individuals—it’s about the system.
Before you promote your next “rockstar” to lead a practice, a P&L, or a business unit…
STOP.
Ask yourself:
- Have they had space to talk about pressure and fear?
- Do they have the self-awareness to lead others through the fog?
- Or are you handing the wheel to someone who’s been performing strength so long, they’ve forgotten how to ask for help?
This isn’t a warning against promoting anxious people.
It’s a wake-up call to support them before you scale the pressure.
Because getting help while leading five people is manageable.
Doing it when you’re responsible for five hundred? That’s an entirely different fire to fight.
Don’t reward performance if it’s coming from a place of collapse.
Reward real leadership—the kind that has the guts to say, “I need a hand.”
So Here’s the Real Talk
If you’re anxious—good.
It means you give a damn.
It means you’re invested.
It means you’re not coasting.
But if you’re pretending you’re not?
That’s the danger zone.
You don’t have to “fake it ‘til you make it.”
You have to face it, own it, and lead anyway.
Ken’s Take
We don’t need more fearless leaders.
We need more honest ones.
Let’s normalize support before someone breaks.
Let’s stop confusing confidence with capability.
And let’s stop promoting masks when we should be developing humans.
Your anxiety isn’t the issue.
But hiding it might be your downfall.
